


Doubt

by Lord_Amias



Category: Junjou Romantica
Genre: Angst, Drabble, M/M, Self-Doubt, not edited lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-16 18:40:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28961109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lord_Amias/pseuds/Lord_Amias
Summary: Misaki has a serious discussion with Akihiko about if he still loves him
Relationships: Takahashi Misaki/Usami Akihiko
Comments: 2
Kudos: 39





	Doubt

**Author's Note:**

> Hi hi im sorry for not posting anything new/updating all my other fics,, I've been in a rut and I'm currently looking for a job so times a tough ;w; Please enjoy this short fic

“Sometimes I wonder if you still love me”. 

Akihiko turned his head, unsure if he heard that clearly. Misaki sat in front of him, looking down and twiddling his thumbs. Akihiko did not understand what he was starting to feel, but all he knew was that his throat started to tighten. His heart began to feel a rush. 

“What do you mean?”, he asked with a raised eyebrow. “We’ve been together for years, Misaki...Don’t I tell you that I love you every day?”. 

Misaki’s head stayed lowered. This wasn’t good. Where was this even coming from? Was this a test? Is Misaki trying to gauge a reaction out of him? Was he supposed to say something important right now? Is this where he was supposed to laugh because this might secretly be a prank?

Too many questions were circling through the author’s mind, but one deep in the back crept in. The one question he always feared was now in his thoughts: Were they going to break up?

Was this a conversation to lead to a break up?

Akihiko swallowed, trying to remain composed. There was no way he was going to let that happen. He knew he couldn’t even survive that. 

“M-Misaki, what are you trying to say? If something is wrong, you can tell me”. 

Misaki shook his head, looking up at his lover. His eyes were watery, his cheeks were red and his nose was wrinkled. His hands were trembling. 

“I-I know that you tell me you love me every day, and I know that we planned a future together...kind of”, he began. “But sometimes...I feel like we’re drifting apart and I don’t like it! I...I’m with you all the time and even now, I feel completely alone”. 

“Misaki, What are you saying…?”. Akihiko’s shoulders grew tense. “I understand you’re feeling strange, but we can talk this out. Please don’t cry”. 

Misaki quickly wiped his eyes with his sleeve, sniffling. His breaths were loud, yet very short. It was as if he was sucking in more air than he was breathing out.

“Usagi-san, you’re...You’re a reason I grew so much as a person and I can’t thank you enough for all that you’ve done for me…”, his voice began to crack. “I get scared when I hear you talk on the phone to my brother, your friends, to Aikawa and Isaka, and to anyone...I feel my heart stop and a pit grow in my stomach...You always get awards and you’re praised by so many people...You’re so kind to me, even when I’m at my worst. I sometimes want to get angry at you when I know it’s okay... It should be okay, but it’s not!”. 

“But Misaki, you know I don’t-”.

“That’s not the problem! Everyone likes you, you’re beautiful, you’re so talented, and...and I feel frustrated at myself!”. 

“Um…”. Akihiko stood up. “Do you want me to get you some water? Or do you need some tissues? If you need anything, I can go and get you it”. 

Misaki peered up at his boyfriend. The author felt his heart sink as he saw the pained eyes of his lover. What could he do to make him feel better? Was this his fault?

“I don’t need anything, Usagi-san”. He turned his head to the side, a faint smile crept across his face. “You’re really amazing, y’know...I’m nothing compared to you”. 

“Don’t say that, Misaki”. 

“I mean it”. 

“Don’t say those kinds of things”. 

He walked towards Misaki, kneeling down and wrapped his arms around him. He squeezed tightly. Misaki’s arms seemed to droop down to his side. 

“I really...wonder if you’re still going to love me in the next few days, or weeks, or months, or years…”.

“Why would I not love you? We’re not drifting, Misaki. I still think of you every day”.

“What if you hate me one day?”.

“I can’t hate you. You’re the reason I’ve come so far”. 

“...What if that changes?”.

Akihiko pulled a way, moving his arms downward to then grasp onto both of his lover’s hands. Misaki turned to look at him. Their eyes met. 

“It won’t”. 

Though it wasn’t much, the silence comforted the author as he felt Misaki’s hands squeeze tightly around his own. That was enough for them. 

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was kinda me putting my own problems into it,, i felt like I've been drifting from jr and i don't want to drift since this series has helped me cope with horrible things that have happened to me. I still love these two,, theyre my everything


End file.
